The LGBTQ Question

What are you? What am I?

It's an odd question, yet one we have been asking ourselves since the dawn of civilised man.  Philosophers have spent their entire lives debating the purpose of our being here, even if such a purpose exists beyond our own design.  Yet lately it seems to have taken on a more focused significance.

The gays are coming! The gays are coming! Lock up your... um... sons maybe? What about the lezzers? Daughters as well then? What do we do about this problem when there are so many puffs about?

The answer is so ludicrously simple it's barely worth mentioning, yet so many people insist on making an issue out of it.  Ready? Here it is... shut up, grow up, and get over it.


I've never understood homophobia. Now let's clear that up first off all: "homophobia".  It's generally understood that a phobia is a fear of something, usually an irrational one.  There's a meme circulating the likes of Facebook and other social media locales, often attributed to Morgan Freeman, that states "I hate the word ‘homophobia’. It’s not a phobia. You’re not scared. You’re just an asshole." It's a very valid, though not entirely accurate, statement to make.

Think of it like a pyramid. At the top, you have your churches, your presidents, your prime ministers - the apparent heads of society.  Then you trickle down to their underlings - priests, MPs, and so on.  This goes on and on until you finally get to those holding up these institutions - we the people.

Now, let's add an agenda to that, in this case, the LGBTQ question.  You've got your church leaders - for the sake of this argument, I'll go with the Christian church - telling us that homosexuality is a sin and an abomination.  They'll recite chapter and verse from the Bible to prove it.  Their cardinals and archbishops pass this on to their bishops and ministers, who pass it to their priests and vicars, who spread this message to their congregations.

Next, you add the bad.  The message becomes one of demonization - all homosexuals are homicidal paedophiles who sodomise goats and worship SATAN. They all engage in rampant, uninhibited Satanic debauchery and defilement of all that is holy.  I swear, I've actually seen all of the above, and more, used to refer to LGBTQ people.

Then, you personalise it. They're coming for YOUR children, living in YOUR neighbourhood, working in YOUR offices, walking the same streets, breathing the same air, going to the same shops, as YOU. Be careful or you'll catch the gay!

And thus you have the fear.

In other words, homophobia is as much about fear as it is hate.  This fear is partly engineered by our authority figures, but it is a fear nonetheless.  And it's an old axiom that we attack and hate what we fear.  Control through fear is nothing new; nations, religious institutions and other socio-political constructs have been at it for millennia.  Heck, even Star Wars used it - remember when Grand Moff Tarkin announced that the Imperial Senate was being dissolved?

But here's the problem. Right here. You're looking at it. You're using it right now.  The internet. The World Wide Web. Social media has given everyone the opportunity to have a voice, and those voices are loud and out of control.  And for every fear-mongering, misinformation peddling, hate-filled bigot who shouts "God hates fags" or some other uneducated buffoonery, there are many sites, blogs, Facebook pages and Twitter profiles promoting the idea of... get this... LOVE.

I know, crazy right?

In this writer's less-than-humble opinion, all this hatred and discrimination being levelled at the LGBTQ community is frankly ludicrous.  There are campaigns to abolish and criminalise non-straight sexualities in nations all over the world.  I've heard of lobbying to legalise flogging for being gay, death penalties being debated, social ostracising, company policies prohibiting homosexuality... all for what?  The prevention of someone being in love?

It's frequently touted that the Bible explicitly states homosexuality is evil (Leviticus 18:22, for example). This same book both prohibits (Leviticus 19:27) and demands (1 Corinthians 11:14) haircuts, for crying out loud!  Some people are so consumed with obeying the letter of the Bible that they give themselves headaches with all the contradictions contained within.  But here's the real kicker: some of these Christian folk... are you sitting down? Comfy?... are GAY! How does that work?!  How do you reconcile your faith with your sexuality? Oh, that's easy - with love.  I once asked a bisexual Catholic friend this question, and she answered, quite simply, that she adheres to and advocates the message of love, tolerance, respect and peace contained in the teachings of Christ. No room for all that hatred and persecution that folk like the Westboro Baptist Church bang on about.

Then there are the charges that same-sex marriage will lead to incestuous weddings, or that homosexuals are all paedophiles and rapists, or other such idiotic claims.  I can't decide whether these are hilarious or disturbing.  That some people would stoop so low as to make these accusations is both a damning indictment of the accusers, and completely unsurprising. Am I saying there aren't gay paedophiles? No I'm not - how many Catholic priests have been caught out? But to say all gays are paedophiles, or all paedophiles are gay, is nothing short of vile. One could make a realistic claim to it being a hate crime.

So what about the claim that it's a choice? Well, that's slightly more tricky - it can be argued that there is an element of choice involved. But here's the tricky part - it has been proven that a person's sexual orientation or gender identity is genetically encoded into them at birth. So where's the choice? Simple: acceptance or denial. You can accept who you are and be true to yourself, or you can supress it and live a lie. Social factors will, of course, have an influence in your direction, but at the end of it all, the decision is not to be gay or straight.  It's to be honest with yourself and everyone around you, or to live a lie and deceive your friends, your family and yourself.

It's not that simple, though.  And here's where the fear rears its ugly head again.  Coming out can be a major step for some, especially with family. Some will accept it and say it's OK. Some will say they already knew. And some, sadly, will react badly. They'll disown their "loved one" out, or become hostile, even violent, and the prospect of that can be overwhelming.  So sometimes, one will supress their true self to keep the peace, which can be just as painful and damaging.

Just don't give me that crap about "curing the gay" out of someone. It's not an illness, it's not a disease, it's not a condition. It's a state of being, a lifestyle, a way of life.  You can't cure life, you can only begin, live and end it. Curing it is a myth - all you do is supress it, deny it, pretend it's not real. You live a lie.

Thankfully, society has evolved a lot since Oscar Wilde was jailed. We're in a world where some of our best and brightest artists are openly gay. UK soap Coronation Street counts a trans woman and a number of gay and lesbian individuals among its characters.  Jim Parsons, Jodie Foster, Stephen Fry, Clive Barker, John Barrowman, George Takei, Graham Norton, KD Lang, Ellen DeGeneres, Anna Paquin, and hundreds of others have become immensely successful in music, theatre, literature, film and television, and all are gay, lesbian or bi.  Isreali singer and transsexual woman Dana International became the winner of the 1998 Eurovision Song Contest.  Eddie Izzard is an immensely successful comedian, actor and writer is not only open about his transvestism, but has regularly made it a part of his stage act.  Politicians, police officers, doctors, even vicars, have come out.  And across the world, love is finally winning - marriage is becoming a reality for thousands of gay and lesbian couples across the world. There is still much to do, but there is also palpable, observable progress. More and more people are thinking of LGBTQ people not as "one of them" but as "one of us" - not a group of people to be treated as a curiosity or an oddity or pariahs, but as human beings.

Personally, it doesn't matter to me what your orientation or gender is.  What matters is who you are as a person, a human being. Good people come from all walks of life, just as bad people do. Being straight, gay, bi or trans doesn't make you a bad person. It doesn't make you a good person either. It simply makes you who you are.

I hope this entry into my blog has been informative to some degree, and that it might, in some small way, be helpful to someone.  I hope I've not come across as patronising or uninformed, and I sincerely apologise if you do get that impression. This is just me trying to make sense of a senseless world in my own little way.

Thanks for reading. Constructive criticism and comments always welcome.